The Unbearable Lightness of Being Alone

I have been missing from the blogging scene for a bit. Again, I blame work and the ambitious me for neglecting this secret nooky-nook. I wish I have the discipline to write even just a hundred words a day for this blog. I know I love writing. I don't understand why sometimes, I hesitate to start releasing the thoughts that percolate inside my mind. Reflection frightens me sometimes.

Weeks ago, while walking under shady Mahogany trees, my friend punctuated our long silence with an unforgettable line. She said, "I just love this unbearable lightness of being alone." I immediately recalled Milan Kundera's novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being. She recently ended a five-year relationship with someone who she described many times as THE one. She said that they have been so into each other that she can no longer recognize herself. She needs to be alone, to find herself again. I asked why let go of someone who completes you. She said, only when one is whole that one can be with others. No one can complete us but ourselves.

I met two old friends for lunch today. One had a wonderful news to share: she is engaged. She has found THE one. I cannot be happier. Perhaps, she is whole and has found the one who she can share her wholeness with.

It poured heavily this afternoon and I decided to go for a walk. My small umbrella fell short of keeping me dry. As the rain poured and made each step "splashy", I pondered on what relationships for thirty-something women mean. It's no longer about that flutter in the stomach or that strange blood rush. No more fleeting fascinations. Or taster sessions. It's about being whole and finding someone who can be with you and yet, allow you to remain wholly you.

Like the Mahogany trees, you grow best when you stand free from the shade.